It is the silent whispering, ringing words that tell us we are no good, that we are nothing, we don’t matter, we will never measure up, we are not loveable. The words echo and scream, soundlessly screech and grab us when we are least expecting, choking our breath, encasing us with fear, pain and hate.
It is causes us to react in anger, condemnation, judgment, violence, depression and self-imposed emotional prisons. We withdraw from relationship, and our world or we lash out in vengeance, pay back and spite.
I don’t want to write sad words. But I am sad.
My son had a friend, a beautiful young woman – whose parents laid her to rest on New Years eve. Tomorrow we attend a funeral for another young man – full of promise – at the age of 21, a victim of senseless violence.
I suppose I am impacted because these young people are the age of my sons. But I can’t make sense of the loss. The loss of promise, of potential, and the investment of love, that will no longer find expression in this world. It is appropriate to feel great depths of grief, because it is not right.
But I think it begins with the lie.
How would our world change if we believed differently in ourselves?? What if a young woman believed in the brilliance that radiated from her spirit – would she allow depression to whisper “you are not good enough?” What if a young man believed in his power to change the world for good– would he listen to the voice that shouts “you don’t matter!” What if a young person knew from top to bottom that they were loveable, and worthy and valuable – would their response to life be different from believing the words of the lie – “I am nothing.”
We all have a lie that haunts us. It is always present, persistent and lurking … it is why we react, protect ourselves and lash out. If we believed differently about ourselves – our reactions would be different.
“If I was loveable, my father wouldn’t have abandoned me. And since I am not loveable – my spouse will leave me.” “If I was worthy, I would have a better life. And since I am not worthy – only bad things will keep happening to me.” “If I measured up, was good enough, I would have more success in my life. But since I am nothing I will not try, or even risk.”
Or we fight back …”I will NEVER let THAT happen to me again.” “I will NEVER be hurt like that again.” We shake our fists at the heavens and vow to “Never, ever!” And in letting the lie rule, we imprison a part of our soul.
I want to know why the young people who stabbed a treasured son thought it was necessary to express their anger and pain in such a way. I want to know what lie they were fighting and why it blinded them so.
And I want to know why I was hurt and felt rejected by a friend this week. I want to know why I believed that lie that whispered “you are not good enough”, and allowed it to reign over my spirit.
I really want to know why we listen to the lie and allow the pain to determine the path in our lives. Why is it harder to believe in our purpose and promise?
This week was a lesson in seeing THE LIE in action, on a big scale and on a ME scale. I wonder, if we conversed through our beauty, purpose and truth – wouldn’t that be better than conversing through a cloud of fear, anger and lies? Wouldn’t that make a difference?
This week, this has been part of my journey – recognizing the power that THE LIE has to distort and destroy life – and ultimately life itself. Listening to the lie is dangerous. I choose to believe and LIVE in truth.
This is the truth about me …
I am a strong and worthy woman, touching hearts with peace and joy.
What is the TRUTH about you? Believe it and LIVE it!
Share the TRUTH of YOU with the world.